Survivor : Gravitation!
by Shooting Fallen Stars
Summary: Ever wonder what the cast of Gravitation would be like on a reality show? No? Me neither, but I decided to write about it anyway. Rated for language.
1. Days One to Three

It was a hot, hot, horrible day for the cast of Gravitation. They were on a boat, heading towards the typical location for a season of "Survivor" (a remote, pretty island that nobody knows the name of and has a lot of parasites in the water). Looking around, they wondered how they were going to Outwit! Outlast! and Outplay! each other.

Jeff Probst was standing and holding onto a pole with his typical holier-than-thou expression. Suddenly, the boat stopped. All of the Gravi cast froze in horror, realizing that they were going to have to hurl themselves off the side of the boat and do some degrading thing to get on land, where they would have to search for hours and hours for their campsite with night vision cameras in their faces.

'Why am I here again?' Eiri Yuki asked himself. 'Oh yeah.' He turned to glare at the horrible, horrible author who had put him in this traumatizing position. His hateful thoughts were interrupted, however, when Jeff Probst began to yell at the camera.

"The Survivors have made it to (INSERT REMOTE ISLAND HERE)! They have NO IDEA what's in store for them. Stay tuned for the next few months to see which one of them will be the SOUL SURVIVOR!"

The camera faced the new Survivors, who were looking either pissy, confused or nervous. I'm sure you can figure out which adjective applies to who. And, because it's funny to watch this occur, Jeff announced that the Survivors would be using a "school yard pick 'em" to form their tribes.

Somehow, the people picking the teams were Eiri and Tohma. Don't ask how, I just think Eiri makes a good "team captain" and I felt like torturing Tohma by making him automatically not be on a tribe with Eiri.

"Okay! Let's play rock paper scissors to see who picks first!" Jeff said, beaming.

"Seriously?" Eiri asked, looking disturbed.

"Yes. You get to pick first if you win. Isn't that worth playing for?" 1

Eiri shrugged and played the irritating game with Tohma. Tohma won, because he is Tohma Seguchi and Tohma Seguchi always gets what he wants! Except Eiri Yuki. But that's not the point.

"Uhhh," Tohma said, looking at the bunch of people who were staring at him innocently. Popularity contests are hard if nobody knows each other. (Yes, I realize that they all know each other them and half of them are coincidentally connected by either Tohma or Shuichi, but Survivor is better if nobody knows each other, kay?) "I pick…you."

Ryuichi giggled gleefully and glomped Tohma, screeching something that sounded like "I was picked first! I was picked first, na no da!" Tohma smiled creepily and sweatdropped.

Meanwhilst, Eiri Yuki was over-analyzing this decision. 'Who will leave me alone so I can angst in peace?' He wondered. 'Hm. That kid's almost asleep.' He pointed. "You." Ahh, Yuki no baka, Yuki no baka.

Shuichi jerked his head up when he realized Eiri was picking him. "Ahh! Arigotou, Yuki!" he shrieked with the passion of a thousand burning suns. Eiri slapped himself mentally, wondering how a smart person like himself could be so incredibly stupid.

Tohma's freakish smile was ever present as he chose Sakano. Sakano threw himself at Tohma's feet.

"Arigotou, Seguchi-sempai!" Tohma just continued to smile freakishly.

Eiri decided since his luck was horrible he would point to somebody random. He didn't realize how bad his luck was until a booming laugh pierced everybody's eardrums and K stomped up to the tribe of misfits in all his glory.

Okay, I'm really sick of typing this out, so let's call Tohma's tribe "Na No Da". It consists of Tohma, Ryuichi, Sakano, Mika, Taki Aizawa, Yuuzi, Noriko, and Ayaka (blech).

Eiri's tribe is called "La Li Ho" and consists of him, Shuichi, K, Hiro, Suguru, Tatsuha, Maiko, and Tohru Honda. (Yes, I realize that she's from Fruits Basket, but you can't write a story like this without a character from another anime. Plus, Gravi doesn't have enough girls.)

Everyone instantly forgot who their tribe mates were as they hurled themselves off the side of the boat and began to swim quickly. Ryuichi was having trouble.

'_I wish mom would've taught me how to swim, na no da! She said she would when I was old enough…'_

Somehow, they managed to make it to the shore without drowning. (What fun would THAT be? It's only fun if they're eliminated with an adequate amount of drama for a combination of Survivor and Gravitation. Oh, lordy.) Jeff laughed at them in the background as they stared at their maps. Somehow, Shuichi had managed to get a hold of the map to Na No Da's camp. Hiro snuck up behind him and replaced it with the right one. Shuichi frowned in confusion, trying to remember when he had turned the map right side up.

Eiri, figuring having Shuichi lead them to their lovely little prison was a really stupid way to start off, took the map from him and began to lead his fellow La Li Hos without even bothering to look at it.

MEANWHILST, Taki was yelling at Tohma.

"GIVE ME THE FUCKING MAP, SEGUCHI!"

"Now, now, Aizawa san…" (cue creepy smile) "I'm sure we can settle this without screaming uselessly…"

Ayaka snorted in disgust. "Would you two stop arguing so we could get going!"

Yuuzi rolled his eyes. Sakano quivered in fear. Mika glared at Ayaka.

"Don't even-"

"Shut up!" Noriko snitched to nobody in particular. Miraculously, everybody complied. "Just follow Tohma. Aizawa, if you don't want to follow, I'm sure nobody will mind leaving you standing here."

With that, she gave Tohma a hard shove and he began to lead the way to their campsite. Everybody followed in silence, afraid of Mika, except for Taki. He stood his ground for a moment, protesting Tohma Seguchi, but when nobody called out to him he began to chase yelling "Minna! Wait!"

Now, when you separate people into groups in a story, you need something to cue a scene change or something. So, since it's easiest, I'll just use their tribe names. If you want, you can imagine Shuichi and Ryuichi yelling cutely. Then again, that really isn't necessary.

**LA LI HO**

Tohru beamed as she watched Eiri and Tatsuha argue over which way to go. It was so nice to be around so many people that weren't Akito Sohma or the Prince Yuki fan club! 2

K suddenly whipped a gun out and pointed it at Tatsuha.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Hiro yelled, suddenly disturbed at the idea of spending up to 39 days and 39 nights with K. (Or is it 38 nights? Whatever.)

K laughed maniacally. The author laughed with him. Somewhere, Jeff Probst was having a martini and laughing as well.

"My luxury item!" K yelled proudly, stroking his magnum. (ha ha ha ha haahaha)

Suguru decided that everyone he was with was completely insane. He wondered if he could request to be voted off.

Eiri gave everyone the Eiri Yuki Death Glare™. Everyone froze and Liquid Brain began to play as Eiri mentally smirked in victory and lead his silent minions to their camp.

**NA NO DA**

"Tohma, are you SURE you know where you're going?" Mika looked apprehensive.

"Of course, Mika-san! We should be there in no time!"

"YOU SAID THAT SIX AND A HALF HOURS AGO!" Taki yelled.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" screamed everybody but Tohma, Ryuichi and Sakano.

"Seguchi-san, maybe you should let me look at it," Yuuzi, who will be the voice of reason for this segment of the story, suggested. I don't know anything about Yuuzi except that he's Hiro's brother and he's a struggling actor. Does anybody else know? What's he like? Is he really a voice of reason? Is his name really Yuuzi?

Tohma, never one to argue, gave Yuuzi one of those "I don't like what you're doing and that is why I am smiling at you" smiles and handed over the map. Yuuzi scowled when he realized that Tohma had somehow managed to lead them a mile in the opposite direction of their camp. We can guess with much certainty that Ryuichi was at least partially responsible for this.

Yuuzi turned to his new "family". "Okay, we've got a little ways to go. Everybody shut up or I'll tie your hands behind your back and gag you with your buff."

Too tired to complain, everyone nodded silently (except for Ryuichi. They gave up silencing him before they started their little exodus.) and followed Yuuzi to what they hoped was safety.

**IMMUNITY!**

We can assume that once they reached their camps they fainted as they always do. There's usually somebody who bitches and moans and wants to put up a shelter, but when you look at Gravitation, can you think of anybody that would?

So the next day, feeling tired and thirsty since nobody can ever start a fire without extra materials and if they don't boil the water they'll get parasites in their intestines, they made their way to the immunity challenge.

"Come on in, guys!" Jeff called happily. The crabby survivors and Ryuichi made their way to their tribe mats.

Shit, I forgot to give them colours. La Li Ho is neon orange and Na No Da is Kumagoro pink. Kay? Kay.

They all stared at Jeff as he tried to explain their immunity challenge to them.

"Over there are some floating things with ropes attached. You'll have to dive into the water and pull out a Pokeball where there is a talking stuffed Pikachu hidden. Each of the Pokeballs is at a different level in the water, from the bottom up. The first team to have all eight Pikachus wins immunity."

A/N: Survivor challenges tend to be really confusing. This is based off of one where they have to get hooks or some shit like that. I don't know. It's one that causes people to whine a lot.

Everyone made their way to their floating wood things and waited for Jeff to say:

"Survivors ready - GO!"

Tohma and Eiri dove into the water to retrieve the annoying red and white balls that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Eiri emerged first (duh) and hurled his Pokeball onto the mat. A toy appeared.

"PIKA PIKA!"

"PIKA PIKA!" Ryuichi echoed, delighted.

Shuichi jumped in next. Eiri held his breath, afraid that Shuichi would float. (Tohma's already come up, by the way. I just don't feel that I need to type everrrrything out.) Anyway, Shuichi didn't float (thankfully) and he dove for the Pokeball.

Ryuichi was next. He looked confused.

"Ryuichi-san, just untie the Pokeball at the bottom, okay?" Tohma said. "It's easy."

Ryuichi nodded dumbly. Shuichi 's pink head poked out of the water. Taki, frustrated, shoved Ryuichi in. He shrieked and somehow managed to figure out what he was supposed to do on the way down.

As with the actual Survivor, I'm not going to describe everything, so let's just say that Suguru took a long time (seems plausible) and it got tied at Tohru and Ayaka.

Tohru, always wanting to help, wasted no time jumping in. Ayaka, however was a different story.

She looked at the water apprehensively, then at her tank top and skirt. 3 Mika, annoyed, yelled at her again.

"Ayaka! Just g-"

Before she could finish, Tohru had reappeared and the last "PIKA PIKA!" of the day was heard.

"LA LI HO WINS IMMUNITY!"

Tatsuha, Shuichi and Tohru jumped around excitedly. K fired a shot of victory. Maiko beamed. Hiro, Suguru and Eiri looked relieved.

Meanwhile, Na No Da looked more pissed than forlorn. Ayaka ignored everybody, refusing to acknowledge the fact that this was all her fault.

**NA NO DA**

There was a noticeable gap between Ayaka Usami and her tribe mates as they walked back to their little hutlike thing. Mika was the first to look at her.

"I should tell you that you're going to be voted off."

Ayaka smirked. "We're voting off Taki."

Mika shook her head. "Taki may be an assBEEP, but he's not afraid of water." With that, she walked away. 4

Ayaka could be seen retreating (probably to sunbathe) as the rest of the Na No Das sat around their sad excuse for a fire. "So," said Taki, "are we still getting rid of me?"

"Nah, you did pretty well today," Noriko answered. "Just try to be less annoying."

Taki's droopy eyes lifted somewhat. Ayaka had been so horrible that they forgot how horrible he was!

Tohma sighed. "This really doesn't need to be discussed; I think we all know the answer." He turned to Ryuichi. "When you get to the table with the pieces of parchment, write 'Ayaka,' okay? A-Y-A-K-A."

Ryuichi bit Kumagoro (his luxury item!) and nodded.

There was a dramatic shot of the Survivors carrying their torches, on their way to -

**TRIBAL COUNCIL **

They sat on the bleacher type things as Jeff grinned at them. Tohma smiled back. Jeff began his typical questioning.

"Ayaka," he began, "do you think you should be penalized for your performance at the challenge today?"

"Everyone makes mistakes," Ayaka answered. "I just hope everyone can see that."

Mika rolled her eyes. Naturally, Jeff caught it. "Mika, you obviously don't agree?"

"I wouldn't call that a 'mistake' as much as directly fucking the challenge up," Mika answered. Jeff shifted uncomfortably and decided to take the questioning in a different direction. (Bad Jeff, bad! Don't you know what people like on television these days? Drama!)

"Ryuichi, is it tense around camp?"

Ryuichi shrugged. "I dunno. I don't pay attention to the un-shiny people."

Jeff was unsure how to respond to this, so he figured it was best to start the voting. "Tohma, you're up."

Tohma voted. Ryuichi voted. Sakano voted. Mika voted and showed her vote: Ayaka (no shit). "You're completely useless," was all she had to say. Bravo, Mika. Bravo.

Noriko voted. Yuuzi voted. Taki voted. Ayaka voted last, also sharing her vote: Mika. She had a scowl on her face. "Must you be so rude?" She shoved her vote in the container thingy and sat with her tribe.

"Once the votes are read, the decision is final; the person will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately." Jeff stared at them. They all stared back. "I'll go tally the votes."

He returned with the urn thing and took out the first vote: Ayaka. Second vote, Mika. Third vote, Aiyachka. (Guess whose that is.) Fourth vote, Ayaka-san. Fifth vote, Ayaka…you get the picture.

Ayaka stomped up to Jeff who looked at her seriously. "The tribe his spoken." He put out her torch. SNUFF! "It's time for you to go." Ayaka's retreating backside was shown.

Ayaka's "reject" interview: "I'm so glad to be out of there. Those people were SO RUDE! I hope someone from the other tribe wins."

-

1 This is always asked right before a reward challenge. I hope someone says no someday and marches off to go tan. That would make my day.

2 YUKI! YUKI! WEEEE LOOOOOVE YUKI! NANANANANA! NANANANANA! Ahem. Sorry. This is a GRAVITATION fan fiction. I'll remember that from now on.

3 A skirt on Survivor. Ha, ha. If you haven't picked up on it, I hate Ayaka, even more than I hate Taki Aizawa. Not because she slapped Shuichi (though that was pretty bitchy), it's mostly because of how she treats Hiro. I intentionally made her a little OOC. She's also completely useless, which is why I got rid of her so quickly. Taki's fun to torture, so I'll be keeping him around for a while.

4 assBEEP: It always amuses me on reality shows when they censor the "hole" instead of the "ass". Don't know why.

I know that there's a language barrier here, especially on Shu-chan's part, but I'm not going to worry about it because it will be way too annoying. So, for the sake of this story, pretend either they all know English, or Jeff Probst knows Japanese.

Ja!


	2. Days Four to Six

**DISCLAIMER: **Oops, forgot to put one of these in the first chapter. Uh…Maki Murakami owns Gravitation. Natsuki Takaya owns Tohru Honda. Mark Burnett owns Survivor. Jeff Probst owns himself. I am none of the above.

Thanks to TaraYuki-Uesugi for correcting me on Yuji's name.

**NA NO DA **

Now, usually, when a tribe returns from voting somebody out, they're depressed. But not the members of Na No Da!

"That was great!" Noriko yelled, giving Mika a high five.

Mika nodded enthusiastically. (Uh-oh. Somebody usually gets hurt when Mika's feeling enthusiastic.) "Did you see the look on her face!"

Ryuichi looked confused. "How was it any different than how she always looks?"

They all sat around the fire with happy faces, with the exception of Yuji who got uncomfortable and went to bed early. (A/N: I finally got a decent look at Yuji's personality. He reminds me a lot of my friend Sylvia.)

And, since these people are starting to bore me, we'll move on to the morning at

**LA LI HO**

The people at La Li Ho were as happy as the people at Na No Da. Why? Because they hadn't lost the first challenge, which is always a nice thing. When the disturbed camera men made their way over to the weird camp with the weird people, they found Shuichi trying to peel a banana, bounce up and down and hum at the same time.

"Guess what!" he screeched in typical overly excited Shuichi fashion. How does he do that?

"What." Eiri called, grumpy because they didn't get any coffee with their Survivor supply kit. Well, darling Eiri, what did you expect?

"IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED TO BE HERE!" he yelled, stomping his foot childishly. Oh, goodness. He turned to Shuichi, who was staring at Eiri like he was insane. (Ouch!) Clearing his throat self-consciously, Eiri again asked Shuichi to explain why he was so excited.

"Yesterday was Fuyu-chan's birthday!"

"QUIT USING SHUICHI FOR SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTING!" Eiri yelled at the sky. Everyone was up now from the first time he screamed, and they were all wondering if maybe they should have lost on purpose and voted him off before he got too frazzled and coughed up blood or something. Oh, wait.

"Eiri-san?" Tohru asked softly. "Would you like something to eat?"

Eiri turned around to glare at her, but it's impossible to be mad at Tohru unless you're Akito Sohma. So, he just stared idiotically. Oh, poor Eiri is having quite a morning.

**REWARD CHALLENGE **

The energized La Li Hos and Eiri stood on their blindingly orange mat, the majority of them looking enthusiastic and ready to kick some Na No Da ass! Jeff was looking as arrogant as ever and said hello in his typical pompous "you're starving and sleeping with poisonous snakes and I'm not" voice. He then informed the La Li Ho tribe that they would be getting a look at the new Na No Da tribe. He's an idiot if he actually believes any of them remember Ayaka.

The Na No Das came in and took their place on the pink mat. "The hot girl's gone!" Hiro whined. Oh, I guess I'm the idiot.

"Anyway," Jeff began, "today's reward challenge is to see how well you've been communicating with each other." Uh-oh. "We're going to play the old fashioned game of Telephone!"

Everyone just stared. "What the hell…?" Suguru muttered. What the hell indeed, Suguru.

Jeff decided to change the subject. "Want to see what you're playing for?" He took their lack of response as a yes and revealed…blankets and matches!

"Four blankets and plenty of matches to last you for the rest of the game," Jeff said proudly, as if it were a Christmas gift from him to the Survivors. "La Li Ho, since you have one extra member, you'll be sitting someone out. You cannot sit the same person out in back to back challenges. Who will it be?"

Suguru raised his hand. The uncomfortable cast was shown sitting in circles.

Let's start with Na No Da. See, they have an advantage. When Ryuichi was in grade school, he was known as the TELEPHONE CHAMP! Don't ask how or why, that's just how it is. He must have good ears. Or maybe he goes into his serious non-Kumagoro mode when he plays Telephone.

Jeff leaned down to whisper into Noriko's ear. "Eat at Yoshi's!" (1)

Noriko stared at him for a second, then whispered into Tohma's ear. "Eat at Yoshi's."

Tohma frowned, wondering if Noriko had messed it up already. What kind of a message was "Eat at Yoshi's?" Alas, he whispered it into Sakano's ear.

Sakano was jittery and therefore had trouble hearing. He hissed at Taki "Eat at Tushy's". Taki made a repulsed face and made a mental note to kill whoever had mangled the three letter sentence. He couldn't think of what it could possibly be so he just whispered what he had heard to Ryuichi who was looking very, very serious.

Ryuichi passed it to Mika who passed it to Yuji who said in a very uncertain voice…

"Eat at Tushy?"

Hiro snorted from the other side. Jeff smiled. "Close! The message was 'Eat at Yoshi's.'"

He then whispered in K's ear "The melody of logic always plays the notes of truth". (2) K took a minute to wonder what the hell that meant and stared at Jeff. Jeff just shrugged and pointed to his cue card. K whispered into Shuichi's ear in his weird Engrish "The merody of rogic always prays the notes of twuthu."

Shuichi looked very doubtful. He was sure that couldn't mean anything, but he tried to repeat the jibberish he had just heard to Hiro.

"The marrow of Roger always prays the notes of two".

Hiro stared at him. That made even less sense then what Na No Da had come up with. Shuichi just shrugged in return. Hiro sneered when he realized he was sitting next to Eiri and refused to get close enough to his ear for him to hear very well. He repeated what Shuichi had told him. Eiri hadn't heard it very well, but he wasn't about to admit that. Besides, he figured one of the baka before him had farked it up. For once he was right.

He whispered to Tohru, who should have been first since her listening skills are insane, "The me-rod of Robert always pies the newts of tool."

Tohru, being less than a genius, whispered the same thing to Maiko, who raised an eyebrow and whispered to Tatsuha.

Tatsuha had barely stopped daydreaming about Ryuichi naked before Maiko began hissing in his ear. He shrugged and said aloud

"The mirror of rowboat always pokes the knights of Tibet?"

Jeff blinked at him, then looked at the rest of the tribe who were staring at him innocently. There was an awkward silence before Jeff declared loudly, "Na No Da wins reward!"

The Na No Das cheered. Eiri realized that their message was a lot shorter than his tribe's, but whatever. Nothing he could do about it.

**NA NO DA**

"We won! We won!" Ryuichi bounced around, dancing with Kumagoro. Tohma beamed even more creepily than usual. Taki's eyes almost looked normal, even less droopy than David Hayward on All My Children. Sakano was bowing to Tohma for no apparent reason, Noriko and Mika were smirking in an all-powerful woman way, and Yuji was doing a victory dance behind a tree where nobody could see him. I guess all those rejections finally got to him, eh?

Ryuichi cuddled one of the blankets and fell asleep, looking painfully adorable. Tohma smiled at him in a more friendly than creepy kind of way. Sakano gazed at him fondly.

They all napped around the fire, clearly unaware of the drama that this caused for the male tribe in Vanuatu. (3)

**LA LI HO**

The members of La Li Ho were annoyed. Nobody would admit to messing up the challenge. Admittedly, they probably didn't know if they had or not, but if they were aware of that, where would the drama come from?

"Would one of you just admit it so we can forget about this!" Eiri snitched. Uh-oh. Somebody get him some Wudbeiser and a cigarette!

Shuichi gazed at the fire pit longingly. "Maybe it's not so bad. If we just-"

"It is bad! It's horrible!" Maiko cried dramatically. Everyone just stared at her. They'd been so used to forgetting that she was on their tribe that they hadn't expected much of a display from her.

"Now we won't have water! Or blankets! We'll get hypothermia! Or gonorrhea! And DIE!"

"Gonorrhea?" K repeated before deciding to act first and ask questions later. Maiko was abruptly shut up when the barrel of a gun was placed between her eyes.

Tohru paled. "Um, K-san-" She too shut up when K's other gun was pointed at her. BAD K! BAD!

"HEEEEY! Why does he get TWO luxury items!" Shuichi pouted. Good point, Shu-chan! K needs to be punished for pointing a weapon at Tohru, anyway. Before anyone could even think, a hot pink version of Tinkerbell swept down on them, picked up K's gun and flew away.

K stared. "How could she…" He then realized his precious gun had been taken away. "HEY!" He began to chase after Pinkerbell who was now long gone. On the way, he tripped over a tree stump.

"Ow…" he rubbed his knee. He then noticed that they had tree mail! "Big News!" He bellowed, and smirked in satisfaction as he heard the sound of running and Tatsuha appeared.

"Are we switching tribes! Do I get to be with Ryuichi!"

"Baka," Eiri said, coming up from behind him. "K just made himself useful and found our tree mail."

I'm not even going to try to write retarded Survivor poetry for this story. If you want, you can write your own after reading about the challenge. I don't know why you'd do that, but show me if you do. Anyway, naturally, the tree mail was about the next

**IMMUNITY CHALLENGE**

A refreshed Na No Da and a dejected looking La Li Ho met up with Jeff for their next ridiculous challenge.

"Hi, guys!" Jeff said enthusiastically. Na No Da beamed back at him. Taki's eyes drooped upwards. La Li Ho just stared.

"First things first, I'll need that back, Maiko," Jeff said, trying to take the immunity from her. He frowned when she held onto it. "Really, Maiko, I need it back." She pouted and handed it to him.

"Immunity, back up for grabs!" Jeff exclaimed. Na No Da cheered. La Li Ho looked even more deflated.

"Today's immunity challenge will test your ability to work with each other," Jeff began to explain. Sounds like Bad News! for the people working with K and Eiri. "You will select one person as your 'eyes'. The rest of you will be blindfolded. The person you have chosen will give you directions to bring puzzle pieces back to your mat. You will then put them together to form a picture." A picture was shown of the puzzle: a gangster Kumagoro with a gun.

Na No Da selected Tohma as their leader. Of course. La Li Ho selected K. What? What is this? Somebody give them some water! Tohru wisely chose to sit out.

"Survivors ready: GO!" The survivors, looking rather stupid with their buffs over their eyes, stood and waited for their leader to lead them to victory.

"GO! MOVE, YOU FOOLS!" K howled. He does have one advantage over Tohma - his insanely loud voice. "SHUICHI! STOP!" Shuichi stopped. "PICK THAT UP!"

Shuichi bent down to pick up whatever he had found and tripped over his own feet. K fired a shot at him. "Eeek!" Shuichi yelped, then felt around until he found the puzzle piece. He grabbed it and began to run - until he crashed straight into Eiri and flew in the wrong direction.

"Shit," he muttered, then got up - and crashed into Yuji, who was wandering around blindly. They fell onto each other.

"SHUICHI! WAIT UNTIL I CALL YOU!" K yelled. "OKAY! MOVE FORWARD! QUICKLY!"

Shuichi finally made it to his mat, where other, more competent people had been slowly dropping off the huge foam puzzle pieces.

Let's see how Tohma's doing!

"Ryuichi-san! Please listen to me!" Tohma called, sounding slightly stern. "Okay, never mind! Just sit down!" Ryuichi complied by tripping over a puzzle piece and landing at Noriko's feet.

"Noriko! Ryuichi just tripped over a puzzle piece! It's right behind him!" Noriko felt around with her foot until she located Ryuichi's head, then began to feel around him until she found the big pink puzzle piece.

"Is this it?" she called, feeling slightly degraded.

"Yeah! Now come forward!"

She walked forward with her hand out, narrowly missing a panicking Sakano who was even more high strung with his eyes covered. "Good! Now drop it!" Tohma called happily, feeling proud of his Na No Das (come on, we all know he's ruling them).

"Fuck!" Mika called as Sakano spun into her, causing her to fling her puzzle piece into Tohma's stomach.

"Oof! I think we have them all!" Tohma sang, watching in amusement as K tried to direct Tatsuha to a piece two feet in front of him. All Tatsuha really wanted to do was find Ryuichi and feel him up.

"Na No Da may remove their blindfolds!" Relieved, the bunny-dubbed freaks pulled their buffs off their faces and began to move their puzzle around. K panicked and began yelling.

"EIRI!"

"WHAT!" Eiri screamed, wondering why he had let K declare himself the leader. He then remembered K's luxury item and how bad it would smell if one of the people on the tribe died.

"GO LEFT! TATSUHA'S MAKING AN ASS OF HIMSELF!"

"What else is new," Eiri muttered, walking left. He found Tatsuha and pushed him, then found the last puzzle piece. He calmly carried it over to their mat. (He secretly wanted to go to Tribal Council.)

"La Li Ho may remove their blindfolds!" Jeff called, trying not to laugh. This chapter's losers sighed and removed their buffs from their eyes before making their way over to where K and Eiri had already begun working on the puzzle.

Meanwhile, Na No Da were making fairly quick work of their hot pink puzzle. There was one piece left. It appeared to be missing.

"Wha-" Tohma almost panicked before he saw Ryuichi standing and hugging the puzzle protectively.

"This piece has Kumagoro's face! Ryuichi wants to put it in!" Ryuichi squeaked cutely, then hopped to the puzzle mat thing in a manner that no 31 year old man should be able to achieve and put the final piece in.

"Pika pika!" he squeaked.

"Na No Da wins immunity!" Jeff yelled, stopping the poor La Li Hos in their puzzle making frenzy. Eiri silently prayed that he got voted off. Since he doubted he would, he decided to silently pray that their next challenge was less childish than Telephone and a giant foam puzzle.

The Na No Das screamed in joy, then hugged the Capybara immunity idol. Hiro stared at it longingly, then began to fret when he realized that he hadn't even thought about who to vote off.

**LA LI HO**

"Uh, so…" Hiro said to Shuichi. He was sure that Shuichi would be around for a while, considering he's the author's favorite character. What, didn't you know that Hiro is omniscient? Anyway, since Hiro had figured this out, he decided allying with Shuichi would be a wise move.

"So…" Shuichi echoed.

"I won't vote you off if you don't vote me off," Hiro stated bluntly.

"Okay!" Shuichi agreed, relieved that someone as smart as Hiro was going to be his Survivor buddy.

"So…who do you think?"

"I dunno," Shuichi replied, scratching his head. "Not Eiri, 'cause he's hot."

"Okay…" Hiro said. Hiro didn't like Eiri, but since he's used to dealing with disagreeable people that he doesn't like, Eiri shouldn't be that much of a problem.

"Who's useless?" Shuichi offered, suddenly sounding smart. Or, he would've if 90 of the people on his tribe weren't fairly useless.

"Maiko…" Hiro started. "Tatsuha…Suguru…I was actually thinking K."

"K? Why?"

"Well…he's nuts."

"True." Shuichi made a face. "I don't like this. Let's ask Eiri."

"Okay," said Hiro, ever the agreeable one.

Suguru was conversing with Tohru.

"What do you think?" he asked, figuring that she was a decent judge of character.

"Well, I don't want to get rid of anyone," Tohru said, looking uncomfortable.

"We have to," Suguru reminded her.

She sighed. "Well, K pointed a gun at Maiko and me…"

"K it is, then," Suguru said in agreement. Tohru nodded, then went to tell Maiko. (Girls gotta stick together, y'know.)

"Maiko," Eiri said, chewing a stick.

"Could you stop that?" Hiro requested, getting irritated with watching someone grind their teeth on sticks.

"Why Maiko?" Shuichi asked.

"She's useless and she doesn't do anything."

"Okay!" Shuichi said, figuring being passive was the best way to get into Eiri's pants. Which is pretty true…

Hiro shrugged, not really caring who got voted out as long as it wasn't him or Shuichi.

Since nobody wanted to talk to K, he's voting for…I don't know yet. Whoever comes into my head. Plus, I want Tatsuha to be a swing vote. So, that's what he is: a swing vote. God help us all.

**TRIBAL COUNCIL**

"Come on in, guys," Jeff invited, smiling sadistically. None of them were in the mood for chatter, which was made quite clear when Jeff tried to talk to Eiri.

"What happened at the challenge today?" he asked. Eiri grunted in response. Nobody spoke up.

"Uh, okay…I guess we'll vote," Jeff suggested.

Eiri voted. Hiro voted for Maiko. "Uh, yeah. Sorry. It's nothing personal." Suguru voted. K voted.

Shuichi voted. Maiko voted for K. "You're really, really, really scary," she explained. Tatsuha voted. Tohru voted.

"I'll go tally the votes," Jeff said, then returned with the urn thing. "Once the votes are read, the decision is final; the person will be asked to leave the tribal council immediately." Hiro groaned inwardly; he'd secretly been hoping they'd be allowed to stay for cheese and crackers. Not that he was going to miss the person being voted out; he just wanted some cheese and crackers.

First vote: Maiko. Second vote: K. Third vote: Suguru. (WTF?) Fourth vote: Maiko. Fifth vote: K. Sixth vote: K. Seventh vote: Maiko. Eighth vote:

drum roll

Maiko.

Maiko stood up and blew a kiss to Suguru. Ooh, good thing she's gone. Wouldn't want another Rob and Amber, especially not involving Suguru. Jeff looked at her seriously. "The tribe has spoken." He put her flame out. SNUFF! She waved bye-bye and left.

Maiko's "loser" speech: "I don't really know what happened. I guess someone didn't like me? Oh well. I wasn't really cut out for this. Bye Tohru! Hope you win!"

1) This was what that costume of Shuichi's said in Vol. 7, in case anybody was wondering.

2) This is from Spiral. This is one of the main character's "lines". As much as I love Spiral and Ayumu Narumi, some things are just too corny. I think it's for younger kids, though.

3) They all slept around the fire at night and apparently some spots were better than others. One guy always got the "good spot" and this caused a huge, amusing argument. It was a tribe of all males. Go figure.


End file.
